Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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