Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize