I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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