she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
