Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish my penis had an off switch
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
whose ass print is on the piano?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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