I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
