My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
