Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
