I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
