I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
