Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
