I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
