He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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