I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit