Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we made out on top of his cat.

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  (503): we made out on top of his cat. http://tfl.nu/6lsk
  Replies (18) Good night (1336) Bad night (2839)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner

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  (260): spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner http://tfl.nu/qp2j
  Replies (15) Good night (629) Bad night (5056)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.

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  (972): My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B. http://tfl.nu/k9ee
  Replies (10) Good night (1065) Bad night (3478)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy

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  (443): shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy http://tfl.nu/uhwk
  Replies (13) Good night (3640) Bad night (1076)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them

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  (971): eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them http://tfl.nu/lmi8
  Replies (10) Good night (958) Bad night (4250)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.

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  (214): Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/p4l3
  Replies (6) Good night (3132) Bad night (1545)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?

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  (770): Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning? http://tfl.nu/sjpg
  Replies (5) Good night (2151) Bad night (1047)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?

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  (404): He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair? http://tfl.nu/ho1p
  Replies (20) Good night (1021) Bad night (2638)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub

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  (918): Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub http://tfl.nu/8dtz
  Replies (8) Good night (2040) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (380): View more from Ohio

  She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time

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  (380): She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time http://tfl.nu/cp8c
  Replies (5) Good night (1181) Bad night (2604)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever

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  (570): After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever http://tfl.nu/uu6v
  Replies (15) Good night (2685) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners

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  (562): My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners http://tfl.nu/wmf3
  Replies (4) Good night (1462) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how many...is TOO many?

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  (814): He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it. (1-814): Exactly how many...is TOO many? http://tfl.nu/64i7
  Replies (7) Good night (808) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.

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  (402): i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding. http://tfl.nu/exiv
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went

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  (207): Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went http://tfl.nu/zl9j
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (233)

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