No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
