Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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