i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm just crazy horny about you
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
