don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
