**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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