I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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