i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize