Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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