Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
