I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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