Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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