Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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