Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize