so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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