NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
