She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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