Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
