You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My ass is underappreciated
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
