so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
