FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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