Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
