I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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