At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
