Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
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Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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