I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
