I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
