I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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