Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
