im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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