She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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