I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
