I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There r osticjed everywhere
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
