I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize