well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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