My balls are so social today.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
