question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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