No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize