remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it was like eating out sand paper
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
