my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
