and she was petting her beer can
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just had sex on a roof
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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