Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
