I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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