glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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