My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
