He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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