You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
