I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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